DMT & a Date with the Divine
I’m sitting in my backyard. It’s around 11:00 am PT, and I’m in a comfortable, yet spartan modern interpretation of an Adirondack chair, nestled around a DIY firepit I had made the year prior. The sun is shining this glorious fall day in Seattle, Washington and it really is one of those stunning days on planet Earth, where the magic of our natural world is amplified in an explosion of color and brilliance in the passage toward winter. I’m surrounded by my garden and positioned under the crown of a very large and old cherry tree.
I’m a 56 year old male, living in a nice 4 bedroom home with my two college-aged daughters, my ex-wife, my ex-husband, one of my daughter’s girlfriends, three beagles, and a cat. There’s a lot going on.. With Covid 19 raging around the globe, we’ve all been ‘forced’ into this living situation, that sometimes feels like some kind of test run or intermittent step to the end of times.
As I exhale, the odd, metallic taste of the molecule fills my skull. I’ve just vaporized 40 milligrams of DMT and as this world fractures around me and my perceived consciousness ascends to its true state, the ‘I’ that is me vaporizes like the tiny amount of off-white substance once nestled in my Sherlock Holmes/style vaporizer. After this point shit gets hazy and crazy — this isn’t my first time ascending to different realms through the doorway of DMT as the familiar noise of various entities tease my naivete and rudimentary metaphysical enlightenment. They aren’t malicious, just amused by this monkey-brain’s journey into a land that’s clearly out of his league.
Passage through this state is like a familiar stop at the in-laws, with their vacant jabs neither making me feel unworthy nor making me retreat into a state of ego-control. Instead, I surrender. I’m here to learn.
Like the quantum physicists who show that time and space are mere futile constructions to try and explain the infinite expanse and wonder of the ineffability of the universe, the journey is one of no time, no space and no relativity, while the destination has no name, no place and holds nothing familiar — except one thing — Love.
In the arms of the Creator, I’m a blubbering, humbled, mess in a state of total surrender — and it’s pure bliss. They teach me, demonstrating how love is their language and loving action their word. They strive for the ‘me’ here in this reality to be like them and live a life of compassion, understanding, and purpose. They are everything, including our ego and what we think of when we define ourselves in this consensus reality, with our true divinity often being obfuscated by our own perverted obsession of survival — the modern, human ego — an ego on steroids.
The teachings are brief and in full technicolor metaphor. I’m completely awe-struck and humbled by the beauty, love, and intelligence before me — I’m in the presence of nature Herself…the only true form of perfection. And She puts me in my place. I bring my hands together, I bow, I dip, I offer tears of gratitude, as a flood of gifts in my life parade before me like the glorious miracles that they are.
She shows herself to me but briefly — a stunning serpentine entity of rainbow iridescence, she is neither plant nor animal but she possesses all there is to know and her life has no beginning and no end. She is the emptiness and everything of all that is known, unknown, and that which will never be known. I am her, she tells me. She is me. We are everything we experience and everything we can’t even imagine. She is the Creator and I bow in respect as she instructs me to open my eyes.
As I open my eyes to take in the extraordinary world around me, everything in my garden is very alive. Everything is moving like one of those old Looney Tunes cartoons where all the flowers are singing and animated in a perfectly choreographed dance. The hues of the garden colors are jacked beyond the scope of an overused Instagram filter — everything is brilliant and alive and completely connected to everything else, including me. I’m overcome with love and emotion as I experience the collective consciousness in this very altered state of Being. I close my eyes once again and fall into a deep meditation as the DMT’s effects gradually dissipate and I return from this otherworldly realm, to my place among our busy, messed-up, little world.
